Ageing Gracefully, Note #1

A Lunch, The Possibility, and Fleur Adcock's "Weathering"

A few years ago, a friend of mine celebrated his 65th birthday. Asked what he'd like to look forward to, my friend paused to ponder the question. With palpable reservation, he answered meekly, “Gee, I really don’t know. I’ve never been 65 before.” Spot on. For there are tons of advice on how to succeed, but hardly any on ageing gracefully.

That was the topic of our lunch meeting at the Enderun Colleges the other day. Dr. Miguel Ramos, President Edgardo Rodriguez, Adjunct Faculty Raul Rodriguez, and I would like to do something about this gap. We're going to make it exciting!

Meanwhile, I’d be posting notes on the subject every now and then. I'll start with Fleur Adcock’s poem, “Weathering.” It’s about forsaking vanities for something nourishing and life-giving ...

Weathering

My face catches the wind
from the snow line
and flushes with a flush
that will never wholly settle.
Well, that was a metropolitan vanity,
wanting to look young forever, to pass.
I was never a pre-Raphaelite beauty
and only pretty enough to be seen
with a man who wanted to be seen
with a passable woman.

But now that I am in love
with a place that doesn't care
how I look and if I am happy,
happy is how I look and that's all.
My hair will grow grey in any case,
my nails chip and flake,
my waist thicken, and the years
work all their usual changes.

If my face is to be weather beaten as well,
it's little enough lost
for a year among the lakes and vales
where simply to look out my window
at the high pass
makes me indifferent to mirrors
and to what my soul may wear
over its new complexion.

- with Rhodora Palomar-Fresnedi

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